I am a dad of three kids and one stepchild. I run two businesses. I try to be a decent husband, son, brother, and friend. Like most parents, I live in a world of school calendars, meals, laundry, rides to practices, and a long to-do list that never really ends.
I also have a handful of hobbies that keep me feeling like myself. I still love watching a good game now and then, but my off-work life is bigger than that. I play guitar. I brew my own beer. I make hot sauce. I hike when I can. Those things are not just “extra.” They are part of how I reset so I can show up better everywhere else.
Some people hear that and say, “Must be nice to have time for that.” I get why they say it. Most parents I know are stretched thin. Life comes fast. Between work, school schedules, practices, meals, chores, and everything else, finding time for anything that feels like “just for you” can feel impossible.
I am not writing this because I have it all figured out. I do not. I am writing because I have learned a few things that help me stay involved with my family and still make room for the passions that keep me sane.
The Real Problem Is Not Time, It’s Energy
The first thing I noticed as a parent is that time is not the only issue. Energy is the bigger one. You might have an hour free, but if you are wiped out, you are not really free.
When my kids were younger, I used to think, “I will do something for myself later, after bedtime.” Then bedtime would happen, and I would crash on the couch and scroll my phone until I fell asleep. Technically I had time. Practically I had nothing left.
So now I think about energy first. What parts of the day am I sharp. What parts am I running on fumes. If I want to keep something in my life, I have to put it in an energy window, not just a time window.
For me, brewing beer or making hot sauce works because I can do it in small, satisfying chunks. I can prep ingredients after dinner while the kids are winding down. I can let something ferment or steep while I handle life. It feels productive, but it also feels relaxing. Guitar works the same way. Even fifteen minutes of playing a few songs can flip my mood. Hiking takes more time, but it gives me a deeper recharge, so I treat it like a bigger reset when the schedule allows.
Make Your Passions Visible to Your Family
One mistake I see a lot of parents make is hiding their passions. They think it is selfish to take time for them, so they keep them small and private.
I used to do that. I would sneak away to do my own thing, or I would wait until everyone was asleep. That made it feel like I was stealing time from my family, even when I was not.
The shift for me was bringing my interests into the open. I let my kids see me playing guitar. I do not always turn it into a “lesson.” I just play, and they wander in and out. Sometimes they ask questions. Sometimes they dance around the living room. Sometimes they ignore me completely, and that is fine too.
With beer brewing and hot sauce, I do the same thing. I explain what I am doing and why. I let them smell ingredients. I show them how the process works. They see that adults can enjoy building something, even if it is small. They also see patience in action, because nothing I brew or ferment is instant.
When your passions are part of the household, they stop being a secret project you are trying to protect. They become part of the family culture, and that makes them easier to keep.
Time Blocking Works if You Keep It Real
I have an industrial engineering background, so I like systems. That said, family life laughs at perfect systems. Kids get sick. School projects show up out of nowhere. A business problem pops up at the worst time. If your schedule is too tight, you are always behind and always annoyed.
What works better is flexible structure. I block time for the important stuff, but I keep the blocks realistic.
For example, I do not pretend I will get three uninterrupted hours on a weekday night. I plan for shorter focus sprints. I plan for interruptions. I plan for the fact that some nights will fail completely.
On weekends, I look ahead and try to set the stage. If I want to brew, I make sure the house basics are handled first. If I want a hike, I pick a trail that fits the day, not some fantasy version of the day. Sometimes that is a long hike. Sometimes it is a quick loop with one of the kids. Both count.
The key is to plan for real life instead of planning for a quiet life that does not exist.
Use Your Passions as Fuel, Not Escape
There is a difference between a passion that refills you and an escape that avoids your life. The first one makes you a better parent. The second one creates distance.
My hobbies refill me. Brewing a batch of beer gives me that calm “head down” focus I rarely get in business or parenting. Playing guitar brings me back to myself when my brain is overloaded. Hiking resets my whole body, especially when I have been stuck behind a desk too long. Even watching a game now and then can be a nice mental break if it stays in its lane.
But I watch for the line. If I notice I am using a hobby to avoid a conversation I need to have, that is a flag. If I get short with my kids because they are interrupting my “me time,” that is a flag too. They are not interruptions. They are the point.
I try to keep my passions in the fuel category. If something is not making me better, I rethink how I am doing it.
Let Go of the All or Nothing Mindset
A lot of parents think hobbies only count if you can do them the “right” way. Like if you cannot brew a full batch, why bother. If you cannot hike for half a day, skip it. If you cannot play a full set of songs, do not pick up the guitar.
That mindset kills passions.
Now I take what I can get. Some weeks I do a full brew day. Some weeks I only prep ingredients and clean gear. Some weeks I hike for hours. Some weeks I just walk a local trail for forty minutes. Some weeks I jam on guitar every night. Some weeks I touch it once. I do not beat myself up about it. Consistent contact matters more than perfect sessions.
My Kids Are Watching How I Live
This might be the biggest point. Your kids are not just listening to what you say. They are watching what you keep in your life.
If they see you work nonstop, complain nonstop, and never do anything you enjoy, they learn that adulthood is just stress. I do not want that for them.
I want them to see that you can show up for your family and still be a person. You can be responsible and still have joy. You can love your kids like crazy and still love making something with your hands or getting outside when you can.
That balance is not automatic. You have to build it. You have to protect it. You have to adjust it constantly.
Remain Passionate
I do not think busy parents need more time. I think we need better strategies and a little less guilt. Passions do not compete with family when you handle them right. They support family. They keep you grounded. They remind you that you are more than a schedule.
So if guitar is your thing, or brewing, or hiking, or cooking, or whatever makes you feel like yourself, do not push it to the edge forever. Bring it into the life you are already living. Share it. Plan for it. Take it in smaller pieces if you have to.
Your family does not need you to be a machine. They need you to be a whole person. A whole person has responsibilities, and a whole person has a few things that light them up too.